This week has been full of lessons. I don’t exactly think “lesson” is a good word for it but it seems the most fitting. Perhaps maybe “realizations” or “revelations.”
I’ve spent the past few days blocking, deleting, and purging my computer and belongings of my (now) ex-boyfriend. I have a modest pile of things that I don’t want to see any more that I’ll shove into a box and ship to Belgium to wait for his arrival back to his apartment. In a way, the situation that precipitated from months of trials and tribulations between the two of us is a blessing. It has been a long time since I’ve yearned for a clean break. It has been a long time since someone has hurt me like this… and the hurt is what I needed to reevaluate what I want out of a relationship and prepare myself to move on to something that I truly deserve.
Between the apartment flood, the mind-numbing job, and the urge to move north to greener pastures, I’ve been less than attentive. I was working so hard to get myself to where I thought I needed to be, I let our contact dwindle to what he initiated. Partially because of my busy schedule, partially because of his ever-changing schedule. In short, I was tired of being the only person working at the relationship. I had other fish to fry.
Which basically reduces our conversations to a rare Yahoo Messenger chat and a phone call once or twice a week.
And then, after I moved, nothing.
We shot texts back and forth but being in a military training school, he was always busy and always with company.
Little did I know the company was a girl and he was cheating.
His defense: In his mind we had broken up months ago.
Still doesn’t mean you can’t call and say “Hey! Met a girl. I’m out.”
I guess cheating is a step above the last guy who was still very married (unlike Albert who was married and on the way to divorced), hiding me (which Albert still did), and would ultimately drop me like a phone call on an iPhone 4 (which… Albert did). Wow. It appears I’ve found a “type.”
I am moving in the right direction. I’m angry I let myself into that situation, I’m angry that I’m letting myself be angry, and I’m ready to move on. Now I know what I want and what I deserve and I am in the perfect place to find it.
What makes me laugh even harder is the “Litmus test” on The Guild. After the debacle with the stuntman, she makes a list of things the guy has to have. (And when Zaboo fits into her little list, she makes it a bit longer.)
Now I know I want someone intelligent… someone I can have intelligent conversations with and actually engage in discussions. (Hey! I’m a smart girl… I need brain food.) Thoughtfulness is a big one. I don’t want to have to be the only one to carry the relationship forward. Most of all, someone who sticks by their word. If they say they are going to call, I can depend on it. If they say they’ll mail something, they mail it. If they say they want to go out Friday, it happens.
My last one I don’t even know how to word. Someone who works on themselves. If they know nothing about something, they look it up. If they are bad with something, they work to get better. Actively works to get better. If they say they want to eat better, they take the steps to do it. In a way, someone who isn’t all talk. 🙂
So for now, I’m going to go to trivia, go to handbells, and remain open until my Colorado Prince Charming comes to find me. Or Ben Nichols.
That would be a pretty tough choice. 🙂