If I just breathe…Let it fill the space in between…I’ll know everything is alright

The afternoons get a little difficult to deal with around 3.  Especially when your boss takes advantage of HER boss’s absence to depart at 11 and not return.  With a simple “I forwarded my calls to your phone,” I was correct to assume I’d be manning the wheel by myself for the rest of the afternoon.

I’m still locked in the middle of a power struggle between the local office I am housed at and my outstationed unit.  The local office still doesn’t want to give me an office and the outstationed unit dictates I must be here.  So I’ve gone from deserted desk to abandoned hallway toting my state-issued desktop along with me.  They finally “agreed” that I should be in the “LAN office” a mere two doors from where I currently sit.  I was excited… an actual office with a door.

A door that locks.

That no one appears to have a key to.

So instead of verbally telling me that I need to move my office for [insert stupid reason number 56 here], they’ve simply locked me out of the office I have been given.  Technically, they’ve fulfilled their side of the bargain.  I have an office.  They win, though… I can’t get in it.

The fact that the whole system is screwed up prevents me from really feeling bad about job hunting.  I believe I have every right to look for a job that is rewarding and worthy.  Spending most of my time shuffling from office to hallway to corner is not rewarding or fulfilling.  The fact that I’m officially six months into my employment and still haven’t been trained is neither acceptable or efficient.  I can use annual leave days, though.  I guess you win some, you lose some.

Today I sat in my car and did a phone interview with a local installation of a nationwide company.  As I was waiting for the man to call, I tried to make myself feel guilty for doing an interview for another company on state time.  It wasn’t going to happen–the state had simply pushed me aside and I knew it.  The most they would get out of me is that I would cut my lunch short by 10 minutes to make up for some of the lost time. 

The problem I’ve noticed here is that people get too comfortable with their jobs.  They know what they’re doing, they know they can depend on someone else to do it for them, so they just back away and let the overachievers take the brunt of the work.  I was ready for the challenge this position ideally offered.  I wanted to get in and learn the programs and help make the unit I was assigned to amazing in every way.  Back on March 23rd, I was ready.  Now, I can’t say that I am.  No amount of dedication I put to this unit or office is going to make a bit of difference.

So I guess I’ll just blog about it and forget it, right?

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2 responses to “If I just breathe…Let it fill the space in between…I’ll know everything is alright

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