It always seems no matter how much free time I get (i.e. three months off with no job and no job prospects coming through) that I never get done what I think I should. I basically did not work at all from Christmas until last week. That’s a long freaking time. And what do I have to show for it? Well, I’m a level 60 on my Alliance character and almost a 40 on my Horde. I have two chapters of my novel written and have gotten stuck. I’ve moved once across country and once across parking lot. And honestly, that is just about it.
On the other hand, I can honestly say it has been the happiest few months of my life. Being here, so far from everything I’ve known, has helped me to let go of something things that I’ve been struggling with. It has helped me forget hate, wrongdoings, self-worth issues. I’m not faced with the high school that made me so introverted and self-loathing. I’m not faced with the people who had been so fake to me for so long. I no longer have to face the people who cut me the deepest or betrayed me. I can finally let it rest because I know I can go to Wal-Mart and not have to worry about someone whispering behind my back. I can go to the mall and shop and not run into someone who knows the entire history of my past. To these people, I’m just some blonde chick with tattoos going into EB Games. Nothing out of the ordinary… nothing strange. I love the feeling of starting over.
I’m honestly surprised I didn’t do it. There were many points in time where I had thought about it. I had even started the whole process just to freak at the last second or allow myself to give in to that first month of intense homesickness.
So I’m here. I’m finally happy. I’m finally feeling settled and able to actually live. I’ve found a job. I’ve found a purpose. It feels great to finally be somewhere I can be free.