Call and you listen…

*I found this while I was cleaning up my blog… had to share*

Heard in my high school classroom today:

#1:
Student:  [as they are looking at a 2 page short story] You mean we have to read this WHOLE thing?

#2:
Student:  Ms. Teacher lady!  If you don’t let me go to the bathroom right now I’m going to boo-boo myself.  Then I’d have to change schools… get new friends… buy new clothes….

#3:
Student:  I’m not voting for you!  You’re husky.

#4:
Teacher:  Son, why do you have a toilet seat around your neck?
Student:  Its our pass.
Teacher:  Has it ever occured to you where people put that pass while they go to the bathroom?
Student:  On the toilet, like me, probably.

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Overheard at work (Pulled from my old blog)

Chris:  Kou!  You’re kinda hot!

Kou:  Yep.

Chris:  I had no idea you were a woman.  And Miss Hmong California!

 

 

Choua (to a Customer Service Rep at Embarq):  I’m calling Channel 11!  32!  5!  Theyre’ on my side!  Someone’s going to help me!

 

 

Brian:  Three full grown men sitting around scratching their heads

Justin:  Well, not all full grown

Brian:  Two and a growth spurt.

 

 

Chris:  Marrying a Mexican will put the brakes on you becoming an Intellectual Property lawyer.  Real Estate law is still feasible.  But not Intellectual Property.

 

 

Travis:  My neighbors hates Mexicans.  He told me to keep my Mexicans off of his lawn.

[Chris is kneeling before Choua, who is doing the knighting process with a rolled-up Donald Gardner plan] “I knight you the Copy Queen”

No, sir.  It doesn’t work.  Your ceiling will be OUTSIDE the house… Then your house will have a dorsal fin of sorts…  No sir, I don’t think that passes code.  Yes, sir.  I will check the code book.  (Me talking to a customer.)

Ooohhh shooot me noooowwww…. Just puuuttt  a bullleeetttt iin my braaaaaiiiiiiiinnnnnn…. My daaaaawwwwggggg diiiiiieeeeedddddd…. Myyyyyy wwiiiiifffeee raaannn away with my neeeeeiiiiiiggggghhhbor…. (Sung by Justin to the tune of Chris’s music)

[the sound of a fly swatter against the window] *whack* (silence) *whack* (silence) *whackwhackwhackwhackwhack* (silence) *whackwhackwhackwhackwhack* [with a horrible japanese accent] ”Kou is ninja” (Kou vs the flies, Chris on commentary)

“Are you going to be like this all day?” [said by everyone, to everyone... usually at very inopportune times.]

“Kristin, I swear to God if you’ve touched my computer, I’m going to kill you.”  “I didn’t…”  [Justin continues to work dilligently.] “…I just licked the mouse a few times.  Oh yeah, and the ‘enter’ button.”

Justin:  Kou, you’re like a Mexican.

Kristin:  Actually, Kou is nothing like a Mexican.

Justin:  Yeah, I know.

 

 

Justin:  Is Kou here?

Kristin:  Yeah.

Kou:  No, he’s not here.

Justin:  Oh, okay.  Where did he go?

 

 

Justin:  Did you see that steam explosion in NYC?  They thought it was another 9-11.

Kristin:  But it can’t be.  It was July 18th.

Justin:  What are you talking about?

Kristin:  Good Lord.  You make this too easy.

 

 

Justin:  Kristin, do you plan on working today?  Or are you going to play on the internet all day?

Kristin:  I’m not playing.  I’m working.

Justin:  You call MySpace working?

Kristin:  Someone’s got to do it.  If I worked half as hard as you we’d be out of work in no time.

Justin:  What kind of sh!t is that?

Kristin:  The kind that smells like fermented cheese and guacamole.

Justin:  [done in the worst southern retarded person voice]  I wokeded up dis morning and duh sun pokeded me in da eeeeyyyyyyeeee.  I rollded over and said “Good mawrning, Honnnneeeyyy!”

Kristin:  Your wife must really love you.  And the scary thing is, you’ve procreated.  I hope its not genetic.

Justin:  Are you going to be like this all day?